Jedi of the old Republic
by Teon
Summary: Revan's point of view of what happened in KOTOR and afterwards Fem R/Mission Fem R/Bastila
1. Endar Spire's Destruction

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my computer and brain

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my computer and brain

Chapter 1: Endar's destruction

_**ALARM**_

_'What the fuck is going on?'_ I thought as I opened my eyes and sat up. _'Why is the alarm going off? And why the fuck is the ship shaking?'_ I asked myself. I looked around and remembered that I was alone in the bunk I shared with someone I've never met. I gave myself a once over before I climbed out of bed.

For a smuggler I didn't look to bad for all I had been through smuggling spice and blasters and then working as an adviser here on the Endar Spire. Just then the door opened and a republic soldier stood there looking at me.

"We've been ambushed by a Sith battle fleet! The Endar Spire is under attack! Hurry up - we don't have much time!" he said eyeing the room trying to look for traps or stealthed assailants.

"Who the fuck are you?" I snapped grabbing the blanket off my bed to cover my goods from his perverted male eyes.

"I'm Trask Ulgo, ensign with the Republic. I'm your bunkmate, but we work opposite shifts; I guess that's why you haven't seen me before." Trask replied a little hurt. I could sense he wasn't a threat so I relaxed my guard a little. "Now hurry up, we have to find Bastila! We have to make sure she makes it off the ship alive!"

"Who the fuck is Bastila?" I asked before a beautiful female face flashed through my mind. _'Do I know Bastila?'_

"Bastila's the Commanding Officer on the Endar Spire. Well, not an Officer, really. But she's the one in charge of this mission." Trask said slightly surprised, I guess he thought I knew Bastila. "One of our primary duties is to guarantee her survival in the event of an enemy attack! You swore an oath just like everyone else on this mission. Now it's time to make good on that oath!"

Images flashed through my brain but I couldn't make out any of then except for one. The image of a woman in a dark black with the hood pulled up and a helmet covering her face, if it hadn't been for her stance and the way the robe hugged her curves I might have thought she was male. _'Who is that? Why do I feel like I know this person?'_

"Okay, let's go help Bastila!" I said trying to shut him up.

"So hurry up and grab your gear. You need to suit up so we can get out of here." Trask replied.

"Fine." I said finitely.

I walked over to my footlocker and pulled out my gear. I quickly dressed, strapped on my stealth generator, tucked my short sword in my belt, and grabbed my blaster. I have been through enough to know that no matter what happened I was ready for whatever came next.

"We should stick together; you'll have more success with a party than on your own." Trask said before glancing at the door. "Because of the attack this room is in lookdown, but don't worry - I've got the override codes. You'll have to let me unlock the door."

"Fine, just shut the fuck up. By the Force you're the most longwinded Bantha I've ever come across." I snapped. I was starting to get really fed up with this guy.

"Door's open, Lead on." Trask replied as the door retracted into the walls. A few steps into the hallway and both of our communicator's flared to life.

"This is Carth Onasi -- the Sith are threatening to overrun our position! We can't hold out long against their firepower! All hands to the Bridge!"

"That was Carth contacting us on our portable communicators. He's one of the Republic's best pilots! He's seen more combat than the rest of the Endar Spire's crew put together." Trask said stating the obvious yet again. "If he says things are bad, you better believe it. We have to get to the bridge to help Bastila!"

I nodded and headed for the door only to be stopped by Trask endless explanations yet again. "There's a map of the Endar Spire and a copy of Carth's message in your electronic journal, just in case we get separated."

"Let's roll." I said. I knew there were enemies on the other side of the door I was ready for anything.

"That door's locked and I don't have the codes to open it. You'll have to use your skills on it if we want to get past." Trask told me.

"Fine, just shut up." I said pulling my tools out of my belt. Deftly my fingers worked the tumblers in the lock until it clicked and the door slid open. A republic soldier was there firing a blaster at Sith Troopers, anger at the troops for attacking the ship and rage at the Sith for waking me up filled me with energy.

"Theses Sith must be the advance boarding Party! **FOR THE REPUBLIC!**" Trask shouted and started firing hitting every thing but the Sith.

I used this as a diversion to activate my stealth generator and get behind the two Sith Troopers. I drove my short sword through the gaps in the armor of one of the Troopers piercing his lung and shot the other Trooper in the back at point blank range before he could turn around. Trask looked at me like I was some kind of Jedi or something.

I tossed him my sword and said, "With the way you shoot, you're probably better with a sword."

He sighed and nodded. "This was all that was left." He said tossing me the blaster.

By the Force this blaster was so old and worn out I was surprised it fired at all, when I checked the bodies for items I dropped the blaster. We then proceeded towards the bridge killing more Sith Troopers in the next room. Where I proceeded to raid canisters and footlockers for gear, when I had rummaged through everything thoroughly we continued into the hallway opposite where we entered.

"It's a dark Jedi! This fight is too much for us -- we better stay back. All we'd do is get in the way." Trask shouted over the din of the obvious lightsaber battle in front of us.

I noticed several openings in the dark Jedi's attack and mentally scolded the Jedi for not attacking or watching for a weakness. The Jedi managed to mortally wound the Dark Jedi after she blocked his power attack, but died when a grenade thrown by a Sith trooper went off behind her.

"That was one of the Jedi accompanying Bastila. Damn, we could have used her help!" Trask cursed as her brandished his sword at the Sith Troopers that had come into view.

Knowing what was coming, and how closed in the bridge would be I switched to dual short swords. I held the sword with the tip of the blade at my elbow and flew into the Sith Troopers in a flurry of attacks taking them down easily. We then proceeded to the bridge where two Sith Troopers rushed us, we cut them down just as fast as the last.

"Bastila's not here on the bridge -- they must have retreated to the escape pods! We better head that way too." Trask said surveying the bridge. "The Sith want Bastila alive, but once she's off the ship there's nothing stopping them from blasting the Endar Spire into galactic dust."

I nodded and continued through the bridge towards the starboard side of the ship. Killing a couple of Sith along the way. We reached a dead end and I felt a ominous foreboding coming from one of the doors in the room.

"There's something behind here." Trask said opening the door with sword in hand. "Damn -- another Dark Jedi! I'll try to hold him off, you get to escape pods! Go!" the door slammed shut behind him and locked before I could even think of helping the ensign. I turned and headed for the starboard side of the Endar Spire.

"This is Carth Onasi on your personal communicator. I'm tracking your position through the Endar Spire's life support Systems." A voice said through the comm. buried somewhere in my clothes. "Bastila's escape pod is away- you're the last surviving crew member of the Endar Spire! I can't wait for you much longer you have to get to the escape pods!"

I sighed, time was running out, I was not going to be the only person left alive on this ship when the Sith blasted it into space dust.

"But be careful. There's a Sith patrol just down the corridor. You might want to use your skills to sneak past him." Carth stated through the comm., at least he was being helpful.

I activated my stealth generator and slowly moved down the hall. I caught sight of said Sith Trooper and decided that a dead Sith Trooper was better then an avoided Sith Trooper. So I moved behind him and twisted his neck until it broke. As I laid his body on the ground the helmet rolled off and I could see the face of the boy that I just killed. Faces and people flashed through my cerebral cortex as I looked at his face, I knew this boy but from where I didn't know.

I continued to the next room silently thought still buzzing around my head. I killed the two Sith in the room and searched through the containers. As I neared the door for the next room the comm. flared to life again.

"Be careful! There is a squad of Sith Troopers on the other side of that door! You need to find some way to thin their numbers." Carth said. "You could reprogram the damaged assault droid to help you, if you have spare parts. Or you could use computer spikes to slice the terminal and use the Endar Spire's security system against the Sith."

I decided to do both, most doors on the Spire had proximity detectors and if you got close enough they would open. I fixed the assault droid first and used him as a decoy so I could slice into the security system unharmed. I grabbed a prototype vibroblade from the dead captain after the security system killed the Sith by exploding a power conduit.

"You made it just in time! There's only one active escape pod left. Come on, we can hide out on the planet below!" Carth said as the Sith started bombing the Endar Spire.

"How do I know you won't try anything?" I asked, I may be hardened warrior but I was no soldier, he could probably force himself on me and I wouldn't be able to hold him off for long.

"I'm a soldier with the Republic like you. We're the last two crew members on the Endar Spire. Bastila's escape pod's already gone, so there is no reason for us to stick around and get shot by the Sith. Now come on -- there will be time for questions later!" Carth said.

We climbed into the escape pod and launched it just in time. The Endar Spire exploded knocking into the escape pod. The last thing I remember is Carth saying 'Hold on' before my head smacked against the wall of the escape pod, that's when everything went black.


	2. The Search Begins

Disclaimer: I still don't own Star Wars no matter how much I want to…

Note: I've gotten a few reviews and PMs on what you the readers would like to see but I pretty much have everything written down now since it's been awhile since I last updated. I just hope you enjoy the story in my head as I type it out. (Also I'm sorry if I start to get further away from actual game script. KotoR won't play on Vista)

_Chapter 2: __**The Search Begins**_

I blinked a couple of times before shutting them again due to a massive headache. I remember being in the escape pod with some soldier when the Endar Spire was blasted into space dust, then I hit my head and… I groaned '_Damn it that's why my head fuckin hurts_.'

I remember dreaming of Jedi fighting Darth Revan who to my surprise was a woman. I could tell from her stance and the way her robes clung to her luscious curves. '_What the hell am I thinking_?' I may like women but Revan just doesn't seem to be my type but who knows I might have enjoyed spending some time with her if she was still alive.

I opened my eyes and looked around the room as I moved to sit up. It looked like a crappy apartment, one you'd give to an illegal refugee. '_Wait…Fuck I'm a refugee_.' As I look around I see some idiot standing there waiting for something; probably waiting to rape me in my sleep without waking me. '_I am very beautiful_!'

I stand up and stretch out before walking over to the guy.

"Good to see you up, instead of thrashing around in your sleep. You must have been having one hell of a nightmare. I was wondering if you were ever going to wake up." He said before I could ask who he was. Obliviously reading my expression he continued. "I'm Carth one of the Republic soldiers from the Endar Spire. I was with you in the Escape Pod, do you remember?"

"I had a strange dream. Like a vision or something." I told him. '_By the force why the fuck am I telling him this?_' I thought to myself.

"I'm not surprised. You took a serious blow to the head. You're probably having all kinds of strange dreams. I wouldn't worry about it too much." He said causing me to grimace.

'_I wouldn't worry about it too much_? _What's that supposed to mean_?' I thought to myself, and as if reading my mind Carth reached up and scratched his neck as he continued.

"Well, you've been slipping in and out of consciousness for a couple of days now, so I imagine you're pretty confused about things. Try not to worry. We're safe… at least for the moment." He looked at me like something dangerous had happened. "We're in an abandoned apartment on the planet of Taris." He stopped to breathe and let me think about it for a second before he continued. "You were banged up pretty bad when our escaped pod crashed but luckily I wasn't seriously hurt."

'_By the force… this guy is creepy stupid could he have worded that sentence any worse?' I thought._

Seeing my worry I guess he continued. "I was able to drag you away from our crash site in all the confusion and I stumbled onto this abandon apartment. By the time the Sith arrived on the scene we were long gone."

"I guess I owe you my life. Thanks." I said frustration thick in my tone I hated being in peoples debt.

"You don't have to thank me. I've never abandoned anyone on a mission and I'm not about to start now. Besides, I'm going to need your help." Carth said with a slight blush. I had to shake my head and stop myself from giggling as thoughts of teasing the poor Republic soldier fluttered into my head.

"I saw in your service records that you understand a remarkable number of alien languages. That's pretty rare in a raw recruit, but it should come in handy while we're stranded on a foreign world." Carth said curiosity lining his words subtlety but still obvious to someone like me. '_Why is it I seem to be able to sense what others are feeling?_'

"There's no way the Republic will be able to get anyone through the Sith blockade to help us. If we're going to find Bastila and get off this planet, we can't rely on anybody but ourselves." Carth finished.

"Bastila?!" I said as the image of a Jedi flashed in my mind yet again. She was beautiful with short braided brown hair and full b-cup breast and luscious curves and soft brown eyes… '_What the fuck are you thinking, Eria? She's a Jedi you're a smuggler, are Jedi even allowed to…_' I snapped myself out of that train of thought. "The Jedi from the Endar Spire?"

"That smack to your head did more damage than I thought. Bastila is a Jedi, she was with the strike team that killed Darth Revan, Malak's Sith Master." Carth said looking at me surprised. "Bastila is the key to the Republic War effort. The Sith must have found out she was on the Endar Spire and set an ambush for her in this system."

"I believe Bastila was on one of the escape pods that crashed down here on Taris. For the sake of the Republic war effort, we have to find her." Carth finished taking a deep breath.

"Any idea where we should start looking?" I asked exasperatedly all this talking was getting on my nerves.

"I did some scouting around, reports of a couple of escape pods crashed in the Undercity that's probably a good place to start." Carth replied. "But the Undercity is a dangerous place. We don't want to go unprepared. I won't do Bastila any good if we get ourselves killed."

"Come on I want to scout this planet." I said getting antsy.

"Good idea, we can use this abandoned apartment as a base. We can probably get equipment and supplies in the Uppercity. Just keep a low profile." Carth nodded. "I've heard some grim stories about Dark Jedi interrogation techniques. They say the Force can do terrible things to the mind, it can wipe away your memories and destroy your Identity."

"But I figure if we don't do something stupid we should be okay, I mean after all they're … they're looking for Bastila, not a couple of grunts like us. Alright, soldier, let's move." Carth said with a salute. I didn't walk away I wanted to know more about him before we started living together.

"Yes? What's on your mind?" Carth asked before I could open my mouth.

"Since we're going to be spending so much time together I wanted to know more about you." I replied.

"Me? Well I've been a star pilot for the republic for years. I've seen more than my share of wars… I fought in the Mandalorian war before all this started. But with all that, I've never experienced anything like the slaughter these Sith animals can unleash. Not even the Mandalorians were that senseless." Carth said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

But the more I thought about it the more I found at fault with the way the Sith did things. '_If I was in charge I wouldn't put up with this crap; seriously, if you kill everyone who is there to rule?'_

Carth continued when I didn't speak. "My home world was one of the first planets to fall to Malak's fleet. The Sith bombed it into submission, and there wasn't a damn thing the Republic could do to stop them."

'_This guy is a sad sack insulting him isn't going to get me anything useful.'_ I thought so I just looked at Carth and said "I'm sorry, Carth. This must be very painful for you."

"I'm just a soldier; I go where the fleet Admirals tell me to. I follow my orders and do my duty it just…" Carth paused and after letting out a huge sigh he continued. "doesn't seem right that doing that means I failed them! I didn't!"

"I sorry Carth. I didn't mean to upset you of course it isn't your fault." I said trying to consul the broken hearted soldier.

"I know don't worry about it. I just must not be making sense." Carth said scratching the back of his head. "You probably mean well with your questions. I'm just not used to talking about my past very much. At all, actually. I'm more used to taking action… keeping my mind focused on the business at hand. So let's do just that. If you have more questions, ask them later."

Taking the hint I got my gear ready and headed for the door Carth hot on my heels. As the apartment doors slid open we saw some Duros arguing with a Sith.

"Okay you alien scum, everyone get up against the wall! This is a raid!" the Sith yelled.

"There was a patrol here just yesterday and they found nothing! Why do you Sith keep bothering us?" one of the Duros snapped. The Sith fired multiple shots point blank into the Duros.

"That is how we deal with smart mouth aliens! Now get up against the wall before I lose my temper again!" the Sith yelled and turning he caught a glimpse of Carth and I. "What's this? Humans hiding with aliens? They're republic fugitives! Attack!"

The Sith and his droids attacked firing wildly. I rushed in with my two swords one the prototype I found on the dead Sith captain on the Endar Spire. With Carth carefully tring not to hit me we managed to take the Sith down with little trouble.

"Poor Ixgil, I warned him about his mouth getting him into trouble." the Duros said.

"Will someone come looking for them?" I mused.

"No, I will..." The Duros started, but I never heard the end because I blacked out.

**Daydream**

I'm sitting in a field of grass the wind blowing around me as I play a dulcimer and meditating with my parents. we all sat in the grass wearing blue robes my sister playing with her pet Gigza.

"Father? Do feel that?" I asked when I felt some dark unseen force watching us.

"go , get your sister and hide." My mother said looking at my father who was still meditating.

"no mater what happens to us protect yourself and your sister." My father said standing and reaching for his lightsaber.

**End Daydream**

Carth placed his hand on my shoulder and looked at me, I could feel the lump in my throat and the tears welling up in my eyes.

"Well don't get yourself killed on our account I said waving at the Duros' retreating form.

I looked at Carth and could see the gears turning in his head. _'Should I ask her whats wrong?'_

"I'm fine, lets just keep moving" I whispered trying to swallow.

I couldn't explain it even to myself but after that daydream I could feel more, I could hear more, and I could see more. From the appartment next door I sensed anger and fear. I glided towards the door ignoring Carth and his '_What are you doing_'. I picked the lock with deft fingers, and stepped in as the doors flew open.

"Who are you? What are you doing in my home?" a woman asked clearly distressed.

"It's hard to explain, but I guess I was just curious about my new neighbors." I said trying to explain without freaking her out, hell I was doing enough of that for the both of us.

"Thats no excuses, but at least you more polite then that pig Holdan." the woman all but spat the name.

"Holdan?" I asked seeing an image of a man in a cantina in my mind. "Who's that?"

"A lecherous Hutt-slime of a man that works for Davik and the Exchange." she whispered sitting down on her coach, and closing into herself as she was before we entered. I sat down next to her and wrapped my arms around her.

"I know we just met but, you can talk to me I might even be able to help." I said releasing her so she could look at me.

"When I defended myself it embaressed Holdan, so the force be damned hutt-slug put a bounty on my head." She said starting to cry. There it was the core of the problem and what I had felt from out in the hallway.

"Don't worry..." I said standing up and straightening out my clothes. "I'll take care of it I promise."

I bolted, following nothing but my instincts. Carth was hot on my heals as I ran past a Twilek trying to sell me Force be damned energy shields. straight to the door to uppercity. I needed to see the sky, I needed space and air to think. I slow to a stop outside the door not wanting to attract attention, I look up at the sky for a moment and black out again.

**Daydream**

"Ha ha ha, did you really think you could live in peace? After what you did? And now your all alone two wittle jedi against Mandalore and the armies of Fett and Ordo. Where are your Jedi Masters? your Council members? Have they abandoned you?" the masked man said.

"We left the order, I never believed that jedi shouldn't be alowed to love so I left taking Arsinea with me." Father said steping defensively in front of mother.

"Daddy?" my sister wimmpered by my side.

"Alright jedi, tell me something." Mandalore said sauntering towards my father. "Why did you kill my son? Jedi dont kill even those who dont agree with the order. Unless they are attacked first."

"He was threatening my family so I pushed him into a wall." My father said calmly sadness in his voice. "I never ment for him to hit that hook and die."

"Well thats to bad because I'm going to exact revenge on you and your family. Remember as you watch you family die Jedi..." a lightsaber hums to life and my mother slumps over. "No one defies me, I hold all the cards, and you ar nothing but a fly." Mandalore spat as he removed his lightsaber from my motherther and picked up her peach colored blade.

**End Daydream**

Tears streamed from my eyes as I tried to focus, and come back to reality. I felt stronger yet again, as if remembering my past was giving me some long forgoten strength. I brushed the tears from my eyes and focus on the anger the next person to look at me funny would get a gut-full of my short sword.

I look at Carth as we explore the uppercity I catch his eyes as we walk past our crashed escape pod.

"Yes? Whats on your mind, Beautiful?" Carth asked smiling.

"Call me that again and you'll be breathing with your ass you two headed parasite." I hissed through my teeth.

"Woah I didn't mean anything by it I was just joking, though you are quite beautiful." He said putting his hands up defensively.

"Look, its not you okay. I'm just mad at the moment and you're a guy okay. You're good looking but I'm more into ... someone like me." I sigh. "Let's just drop that." I took a breath talking about my pesonal preferance for women was not something I wanted to do in public. "Is this a good time to ask you more questions?"

"I guess I did say you could ask me later, didn't I? Is it really necessary?" Carth asked in exasperation.

"Not if your going to get an attitude." I snapped.

"No. No, I dont have a problem with it, really. Go ahead and interrogate me." Carth quiped with a smirk.

"I never said that. Are you trying to tick me off?" I said my anger still pretty high from the vision.

"No, I was just joking," He said throwing his arms up palms out in a gesture of peace, or submission I dunno which. "though you do seem to be full of questions. It's rather refreshing to be honest." he let his hands drop and looked me in the eyes for about a second before his gaze dropped to his feet. "Let me ask you something first, though." He reached up and scratched the back of his neck.

'_Do all guys do that or does he just have a skin rash or something._' I wondered. I let out a breath of air I hadn't realized I was holding and nodded.

"I've been going over the battle abour the Endar Spire over and over in my head since we crashed..." Carth looked up at me whith something akin to a glare. "Somethings just don't add up for me. Maybe you could tell me what happened... from your perspective."

"I have no idea what was really going on, I was just trying to stay alive." I said. My head started to throb.

**Daydream**

"Mommy?" My sister cried squeezing my hand.

"We have to go Emma." I whispered pulling her towards me.

I ran as I pulled her in to a piggieback position on my back, I apparently wasn't stealthy enough because a young mandalorian walked out of the brush infront of me.

"Don't hurt us please." I begged. He looked around and saw one of the other madalorians coming towards him.

"Run, now." He whispered pulling out his rifle and following us a ways and firing wildly into the brush to our right.

"What are you firing at ?" the mandalorian yelled at the boy who had let us go. I headed left trying to get away from the blaster fire.

"What are we going to do now, " My sister asked the wind blocking out the last of her question.

"We're going to try to stay alive." I whispered pushing myself as fast as I could run.

**End Daydream**

I took a couple deep breaths. my lungs where on fire and my heart rate had increased, like I was actually running just now. Beads of sweat were forming all over my body from over exertion, my knees felt weak and all the colors of the world seemed just a bit sharper.

"Eria, just what is your position with the republic fleet?" Carth asked continuing a conversation I had missed.

"I was a smuggler if you must know, I was drafted as a deal to stay out of prison." I replied.

"A smuggler? I should have guessed. Isn't it odd that a smuggler added at the last moment just happened to survive?" Carth asked biting his lip.

"You rather I didn't? Want me to walk over there and throw myself off the edge?" I snapped reaching for my shortsword out of habit.

"Don't be ridiculous. You have more then proved yourself since the crash... We wouldn't have made it this far without you. But still." Carth said throwing his hands up defensively.

"I had nothing to do with the crash weather Bastilla requested my transfer or not, so can we just try to work together?" I replied my patients wearing thin.

"I am working with you. I'd be a fool not to. Look it has nothing to do with you personally. I don't trust anyone..." Carth said, and knowing where this was going I finished.

"You have your reasons. Fine, let's just move on." I said stalking off in the direction of the cantina I needed a drink badly.

**696969696969 End Chapter 696969696969**

Note: Gaps in conversations such as: "go , get your sister and hide." are names forgoten by Eria though she does not yet realize this.


End file.
